Monday, 22 April 2013

My thoughts are stars I cannot fathom into constellations


“Sometimes, you read a book and it fills you with this weird evangelical zeal, and you become convinced that the shattered world will never be put back together unless and until all living humans read the book.”
- John Green
My story with "The Fault in Our Stars" is quite average but my connection with it goes a lot further than that. I first discovered it through John Green's YouTube videos, being a Nerdfighter for quite a while now, I felt absolutely obliged to read his creations. Not because I wouldnt be considered a "real Nerdfighter" if I didn't do so but because I just couldn't imagine what brilliant words that man could've come up with. And boy, was I right. Because I was in awe after every word. (No exaggeration there..it was genuinely a beautiful experience) but anyways, back to my story, more about my feels later.

I remember carrying my book around school for a day or two without its "dust jacket" so it looked quite mysterious with its fully black cover and as I replied to people's expected questions "Oh what book is that?" and "What is it about?" I noticed a pattern in some of their responses. A bored "Oh" - after I say that it's about a girl who has cancer - that screams "oh my god, I'm not even interested" and it's upsetting but satisfying at the same time.

Upsetting because I can't imagine people are voluntarily missing out on such a wonderful experience and reality check opportunity.

“Sometimes, you read a book and it fills you with this weird evangelical zeal, and you become convinced that the shattered world will never be put back together unless and until all living humans read the book.”

Satisfying because I feel like that experience is my little secret, despite the thousands of people that have read it.. I don't think I could've said it better than the creator of this experience itself; 

“Books so special and rare and yours, that advertising your affection feels like a betrayal.”

Today I finally decided to sit down and finish it to the very last page. And so I did.

First of all, I'd like to thank John Green for creating a powerful female character. Hazel Grace is your average angst-filled teenage girl but at the same time she's intelligent and philosophical although she appears to be the type that would deny any accusations of that.

Augustus Waters, on the other hand, is the embodiment of philosophical theories. Time doesn't go by without him spewing out a very much appreciated and thoughtful comment that makes you want to put the book down, walk out of your own life and just reconsider every decision you have ever made. (Exaggeration? I think not) Especially;

"My thoughts are stars I cannot fathom into constellations."

Which basically summarizes my entire existence in an intelligent sentence instead of blaming it on the Alexithymia. I don't think I have ever wanted to meet and get to know a character as much as I have Augustus.

I'd like to congratulate John Green on making me rethink my outlook on life as a whole. This book has made me see that there was no point "denying myself the simple pleasures" of life. It has made me want to read more, to write more. And most importantly, to think more.

So, conclusively, thank you John Green for this beautiful masterpiece.
(I apologize if this is all over the place. I am still helplessly "fangirling" over it)

P.S: I wrote this post for an old blog a while ago and since then I've probably reread this book 20 times.

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