Towards the end of the year, especially this year, I just get really exhausted and want to be able to wake up whenever I feel like it, sleep whenever I feel like it (well I did that throughout the year but I learned it's probably not the wisest option. And I learned it the hard way. Whoops?) But this way there are no consequences for my irrational decisions that are made in the spur of the moment at 2 in the morning when my brain concludes that it's far too early in the morning to go to sleep and just stays up even though it's practically half asleep.
Enough about my sleeping patterns.
Today was okay. I mean it was nice but the previous 3 days were just lovely. I felt like I got to talk to people I never got a chance to talk to before and that's upsetting..that there are many people out there to get to know but we're so limited to really small groups of people. I know everyone always needs a small group of people that are the closest and as you go further, the circle expands but I felt like this year I've let my circle get far too tight. I did get to know many people I didn't think I'd get close to this year and I'm really pleased about that. I guess you take small steps every year. What I loved the most about the last week was the fact that there were less people so I could hear everyone and everyone could be heard and that was really special because nobody gets a chance to get their words across anymore. Everything's super fast paced and racing past and it gets really tiring. I mean because of the sole factor of being able to communicate easily I swapped the mentality of "Get me out of this hell hole" to "Wow..I actually quite like these people" overnight.
I've also been active and consistent with my art journal/scrapbook/whatever-it-might-be-called and I'm quite excited to make it even more personal and special after a summer of photographs, memories and lots of stories to tell.
I'm glad I'm facing the summer with a tiny bit of nostalgia for certain people but an even larger eagerness to just explore for a while. To stop living online, on my iPod or on my phone and live more outside. Immerse myself into hobbies I love; take pictures, sit by the beach and just think for a while, write about everything I want to figure out without any distractions or invisible and unsaid obligations to maintain constant contact with people or society. I've also collated a little bucket list for the summer and later decided to expand it and set myself adventurous and experience-based goals from now till my last year of high school before I start university and I guess I might post it here later.
I don't know how I feel right now, but that's exactly what the next 2 months are for. I can figure things out at my own pace and desire.
I hope you all have a wonderful summer/holiday wherever you are in the world.