Friday, 10 July 2015
Things Blair Waldorf Taught Me
Gossip Girl was so forever ago when I finally decided to watch it, hoping I'll get lighthearted chick-flicky entertainment and then I found myself absolutely captivated by Blair Waldorf's character for her unapologetic, perseverant and inevitably scheming yet wildly intelligent persona.
As expected, I got emotionally invested in a fictional character however I feel like I learned very valuable lessons that in hindsight always believed in but was always too socially conscious to commit to in order to further myself and maximize my opportunities in all facets whether it be business or personal, because of the things I'd have to give up or the people I'd have to put in second place to my priorities. So it was quite liberating to realize that this is the attitude I need and there's no harm in going for what you want.
As obvious as this is, I find myself sitting there pondering ideas and projects and what could be if I take a bunch of simple steps to get where I need to be rather than just doing the thing! And so here I am doing the thing!!!
This seemingly conceited sense of self-worth is truly necessary in terms of success. Sure, people aren't always a fan of those who know what they deserve and expect nothing less in return but in the end, we accept what we deserve and if you accept less, then you're stuck with less.
I - and my other women around the globe - have been conditioned to see themselves as ultimately incomplete if they're not in a relationship because that seems to be a reflection of their own value as human beings and if you're not deemed worthy by a partner then you're...not? It's a hilarious concept to live by and does leave many women focusing on the insignificance of hunting down somebody to love them when it's nothing but a distraction from them loving and pursuing themselves.
This seems to be a reoccurring theme in different manifestations, but I think it's important for it to be repeated over and over again because trust me, we forget. We're used to compromise, in fact we're encouraged to in order to avoid being difficult, but you teach people how to treat you and being difficult is the immediate misconception people have when they're stunned by your commitment to yourself.
Like High School taught as all, you can't make people love you no matter how hard you try.
So DO YOU.
It is far more satisfying to get shit done and have a supportive entourage (whom you support in return, this isn't a HOW TO BE A LONELY NARCISSIST manual) who respect your priorities and know you for the multifaceted whole person that you are. However in terms of those who do not matter, trust me, it's far more enjoyable to be feared. Power over the need to be liked, any day.
This one hits home because it's true. This is not to say that you need to be cold in order to remain sane and get what you want, but you need to be levelheaded. Sometimes objective thinking is what you need whether it be personal or work-related decisions. It's important to keep all sides of the situation into consideration and make decisions based on their potential success rate. Sure, not everything is a game, but strategy cupcake (with a sprinkle of heart when need be) is the key to balance and ultimate success.
Finding your passion and setting goals is very important for a fulfilling and successful existence. School (and even university, to be honest) blesses your life with a structure. You know what you should be doing and when it should be done for however as you get older, having a personal well-tailored and goal orientated mindset is essential. Just thinking of the way time flies over the holidays and how you wake up not knowing the time or the date, think of life without goals and projects and meetings and new ideas as one long holiday except one morning, you wake up and it's your life and it's over and you've got nothing to show for it.
Wow, hard stuff.
I don't know how many times I've talked about not settling at this point but I want to say that over and over and over and over again.
It's inevitable to find yourself settling or compromising sometimes and it's understandable because we can't always have our way and sometimes we have visions of how we want our lives to go and people say they're not realistic and we'll just end up alone if we hold on to them too firmly, but there is literally no harm in trying. And as the brilliant Steve Harvey talks about in his book "Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man", if you are committed to whom you think is the ideal partner that you will feel fulfilled with and give your all to, then that person will find you. And if they don't, then you're most definitely better off on your own and there is no shame in that.
We all want to be appreciated and sometimes we let that slide with all forms of our relationships that people forget we need to be appreciated too. When you feel enough is enough and you've burned the candle at both ends, you can say it. Remind people of the hard work you do because not everybody can see it and don't undermine the effort you put in to anything because it is all taking from you and giving to a project or an organization or a person! By all means, give it your all, but stop when you need to.
Even Blair Waldorf has these days. With a perfectionist attitude comes the need to never be anything less than perfect and that is - unfortunately - unattainable leaving us rushing around, losing sleep, working too hard or even getting carried away with things that take us away from who we are. It's important to take a step back and realize that whatever this weird life roller coaster thing you got going on is, it needs to stop and in the process, you can ask for help. But don't compromise your character or values in the process, sometimes people are only waiting for you to fall so they can find a way to keep you down for good. You're smart, so be smart about it!